Insomnia is a constant companion through life. I spent about 4 days running on 4 or fewer hours of sleep, one night I didn’t sleep at all.
I was struggling with the idea of taking really heavy sleep medication that didn’t work four days in a row. That’s when a friend said I should try an edible. The ones he took the day before put him to sleep easily.
I remember eating edibles in college and having them a few times post legalization. I thought it over and figured I might as well try it. I took two servings the first night and slept about 8 hours. The next day I felt kind of groggy, but I was relieved. I then took 20mg a night the next two nights and finally feel rested again.
Sleep issues are a difficult foe in the game of life. Sleep rarely comes easy for me, especially in spring and summer. As of the beginning of May, I have all the energy. It is a relief to find something that actually works, that is reliable, and that I don’t need a prescription for. Cannabis infused chocolate caramel, an indica strain. The effect can be strong, so i took it slow, but it worked. And I am grateful for the sleep.
Early in the last year, I made a a silent yet stolid agreement with myself. I would write as much as possible.
I have always known that I wanted to write. The papers presented to the mr and ms. in partial fullfillment of the course to the stupid little sketches in 8th grade to brit lit. and all the shebers howard. To the jj johnson even though he was a dick. To the shhissel and Mr. Syr.
It was the Timne’s class that was the best. We read Frankenstein and the Romantic poets. She wrote that book when she was 18 with bysshe her bo and the byron lord.
I had so much respect for that monumental accomplishment.
Anyways, I could never commit to writing more than 10k on any given story.
Last year in february I took Christi Kruugs Wildfire Writing class at Clark college. It worked.
Since February last year, I have written 100k+ in freewrites and 65k on my first novel.
That is what i call robust 🙂
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Life is long. Learning is hard. Growth is pain. There are many moments of regret, of despair, of misery. Waves crashing eroding spirit. The violence of the storm clashes dramatically with the joy of the heart. The blue sky, light floating moment of love. The foggy mornings and mysterious trees. A sunrise, as sunset. Even the beauty of a sunset happens every day. If you miss it, catch it tomorrow. Relax breathe, trust yourself. your path. Reflect to stoke the inner fire. Dream to catch your wild desire. Inspire.
Don’t get stuck in the rearview mirror, though, you don’t want to crash after all. Nobody wants to crash, shit happens. And when it does learn, reflect grow. The painful soul expansion worth it in the end. Each day, each moment.
Stop. Sit in your sadness, cry it out, sweat it out. Feel the sad. It allows you to feel the joy. If you at once become comfortably numb, wake yourself up. We are not robots, we are apes with big brains. It is worth it.
Focus on small moments…
“Timing. Synchronization. I am sitting at the dinner table, hunching over my notebook. Remembering I should not hunch so much.”