This is to all the warriors out there. Sometimes when the end is near and the summer is all heat and said heat is destroying the bodies homeostatic acclimation to mild/cool weather. I yearn to be more of a warrior.
An early riser, a planner and then get things done ‘er, a doer, a thinker, a screamer, a fighter
one who has the innate ability
to strive forward, rip themselves out of bed, fall asleep early, run on fumes, ignore metabolic needs, and just work.
I know that I am not a natural warrior. I am a planner, a thinker, and a feeler. These feelings get in the way, the over planning perfectionism leads to a void of undone, a vast desert of nothing. Not much of a dessert at all.
But to feel the freedom of the failing, flailing, warriors who put the time in with nose to the grindstone day in and day out for years.
Those who see the end in sight and drive harder toward the finish instead of backing off wondering if they are in the right place doing the right thing. And I wonder why my tennis matches take foreeeevvvveeer!
After three days of listlessness, wallowing again with uncertainty and fear. Staring at the finish line and trying to come up with excuses why its not worth it. The fatal fog of self fulfilling defeatism waking so strong every morning.
“Just because someone loses their way, doesn’t mean they are lost forever.” Professor X/Charles Xavier Yeah I saw that movie last night, I will go more into that icon of childhood later on.
And so even stumbling and flailing on the ground defeated before I began for the past few days, there is still hope I am not lost forever.
I must remember to fight hard to begin, once I am started working, momentum takes over like a roaring fire and I can do anything until the exhaustion arrives and the flame burns out.
So to the warriors that do it every day, to all of you who inspire me. Those known personally may know intimately of what I speak. And those who I look to for guidance, you may know me someday.
Once this firestorm gets rolling, a mixed metaphor, but that is okay for now.
To all my inspiration.
and to the kindling.